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im being upset about work and depression 

they can't get the sound to work offsite and i want OUT OF HERE

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im being upset about work and depression 

i put my dumb camera on for this dumb meet and greet for work and i need it to be over so i can go eat and sleep and just be depressed on my own

every day i am extremely aware of my precarious position as a black autistic person in this line of work, like yes im a "valued contributor" but what if my value runs out?

anne carson is right im feeling and guess what? its derang(ed)(ing) me

"Language speaks the speaker, as if ghosts of past generations possesses them in order for them to express themselves to ghosts of the present as well as those of the future." (2/2)

~Line Henriksen, “Spread the Word”: Creepypasta, Hauntology, and an Ethics of the Curse, 2018

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"Language itself is a revenant – that is, a ghost that walks again by repeating and being repeatable. It is older than the speaker, and it will live long after the speaker has died, thus indicating a future to come that is a repetition of the past and the present but still different. (1/2)

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"I refuse to detail the humiliations that keep me up at night.

I am pulling a blanket over my head.

Or, I’m elated by 30 seconds of rain."

QUALM by Aria Banias, hyperallergic.com/441858/one-p

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A discussion & Q+A session with agents of SWANA descent or with SWANA authors on their lists

Sat, August 6, 2022

1:00 PM – 2:30 PM PDT

eventbrite.com/e/rawi-presents

"E-Carceration is a racial justice issue; Electronic Monitoring disproportionately harms Black and brown communities."

mediajustice.org/unshackling-f

final boi boosted

As a trans masc person with a loving supportive community, I'm extremely lucky that this is an option for me. But for others with a similar condition in less supportive places, this can be a potentially disastrous condition to leave untreated. Planned Parenthood essentially extended me a lifeline that I didn't know was a solution to treating this. If you know someone struggling with PCOS, definitely let them know there are options beyond birth control pills 💜

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I don't know who needs to hear this, but PCOS is absolutely an intersex condition. Today, I essentially needed to choose between the hormones generally prescribed to trans women or injections generally given to trans men. My body does not produce enough of either combination of hormones to function in a healthy way. HRT is healthcare and is valid for whatever reasons you decide to take it. End of rant. #theVent

depression time 

i need to go to sleep because i feel the most dangerous part of depressed but im depressed so i don’t want to move in a way that might make things worse this makes no sense i know this

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final boi boosted

There are a lot of reasons to be disappointed in how phone cameras don't and can't take good pictures of the moon, but it's hard to be annoyed with how the lens makes a waxing crescent look so delicate like it was painted there in one stroke or like it's a tiny reflection of light in chipped glass.

i want to share two interviews that i got to do and am very happy about but i can access that joy yet so im hoping to remember to try later

im going to try to read one of these poetry books for the sealey challenge and see if that makes me less depressed

just thinking aobut getting away from digital/streaming (2) 

and im just gonna stop trying to watch new stuff thats not indie for a while. im saying this in anger/depression so like who knows if itll stick but at the moment thats what im saying

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just thinking aobut getting away from digital/streaming (1) 

its gonna take a while to build up the collection but this is the plan:
broadway records for most musical CDS
tv shows on DVDs are priority (batwoman, she-ra: princesses of power, orphan black, etc.)
really sit down and try to move things from my cloud to DVDs (maybe i should try using the other computer?)

The DePaul University Department of African and Black Diaspora Studies is now welcoming applications for the 2022-23 Ida B. Wells-Barnett Post-Doctoral Teaching Fellowship. Applicants must have Ph.D. in hand by July 2022. Find the full listing here: apply.interfolio.com/108447

PEN America's Prison & Justice Writing Program has an open call for writers/editors interested in mentoring writers who happen to be incarcerated.
docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAI

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we deserve space

a personal server