if you've been through the legal name change process, do you mind sharing how that went for you/especially in terms of safety/family?
I've not done it yet, but I'm going to this year. When I told my mom about it she got super upset with me and tried to make it about her. I haven't brought it up since, but we're going to have to talk about it at some point soon and I'm not looking forward to it.
@SwooshyCueb i hope the talk goes much better when it happens. are you able to take the steps by yourself or do you need her help in it (you dont have to answer ofc)?
My name is on wills and living deeds and bank accounts and other stuff like that she has control over, so she will have to be involved in some capacity.
I could probably handle all of that without her but it would be several orders of magnitude less of a pain in the kidneys if she's onboard.
@wenotfreeyet It went really well for me. Coworkers and family were quick to adopt it. Bureaucracy following the change was a hassle, but I changed my legal gender too, and I think that caused more trouble.
@owl oh, why do you think changing your legal gender caused more trouble? thank you for answering btw!
@wenotfreeyet Maybe because it's less common, so there was more "oh, umm, I don't know how to do that," and "that's not possible, you'll have to open a new account," and that kind of thing. It also changed my personal identification number, since one of the digits in it encodes gender, and that caused trouble too, since I no longer had any valid ID with that number. :)
@wenotfreeyet family wise, my parents were mostly just happy that I finally had a name that sounds like a name instead of going by shoofle. The legal process was long but not difficult. I had to acquire a physical notarized copy of my birth certificate, and I had to go in person to the courthouse, which was a little scary. But the staff there were really nice and I didn't have to go before a judge or put an announcement in the newspaper or anything. I just filed the request and got my name change certificate back in the mail a while later.
a personal server for a black nonbinary traumatized person